We may feel as though we deserve more respect than we are given. We might want people to take our word as enough. We might seek more recognition for our expertise. We also may want more notice taken of our commitment. The good news is that there are several research- and experience-based steps we can take to increase the professional and personal respect we receive.
According to leadership expert Scott Mautz, we can build the amount of respect we receive by taking three types of actions: being generous with what we choose to give, being clear about what we will resist, and projecting behaviors that garner respect.
Regarding the first aspect of respect generation,we can be free with our time, expertise, and knowledge. As examples, we might help people complete tasks, solve problems, and find their way through challenging situations. Additionally, we can share positivity, consistently give extra effort, and offer encouragement to those who need it. Of course, being present to listen and support demonstrates generosity and caring. Finally, we can share gratitude and be quick to offer genuine praise. The point is that seeking respect begins with our being willing to show it.
The second element of respect gathering asks us to decide what to avoid and what to resist. Of course, we need to avoid speaking and acting in ways that are disrespectful to others. Some behaviors are obviously disrespectful, while others are more subtly so. For example, we can resist taking credit for others’ ideas and work, even when we may have played a role in what is achieved. Focusing on and giving credit to others, even when we might deserve to share in the accolades, offers respect to others that often comes back in the form of their respect for us. Similarly, we can avoid negative assumptions about the intentions of others. Resisting negativity tends to make us more interesting and pleasant to be around. Finally, staying away from and not participating in the spread of gossip and rumors communicates our commitment to be positive and avoid undermining or diminishing others.
Mautz’s third strategy for building respect is to consistently project openness, transparency, and authenticity. Beyond deciding what we will not do or tolerate, we can take the step of demonstrating “with-it-ness,” forthrightness, and integrity. For example, we need to make it our practice to come prepared to meetings and do our homework before we take a position and decide a course of action. Our preparedness invites confidence and garners respect for what we say and do. We can further demonstrate courage and strength by our willingness to take principled stands, even when they may be unpopular. Of course, being willing to admit mistakes, take responsibility, and fix the situation are clear markers of integrity and authenticity.
Respect is not necessarily given to us because of our position. Instead, it must typically be earned. The process of gaining respect can take time, and we may need to remind ourselves to be patient. However, we are not powerless. By giving respect, resisting what is not respectful, and embracing elements that define respect, we can gain the confidence, stature, and positive regard we seek.
Reference:
Mautz, S. (2024, October 15). The no. 1 way to get more respect at work. CNBC. https://www.cnbc.com/2024/10/15/want-to-be-respected-at-work-use-this-framework.html
