The Master Teacher Blog

Adversity is not fun.

It can press and stress us.

It may depress and distress us.

It can even distract and untrack us.

Yet, adversity can also be a gift that lifts us.

It can be the force that strengthens our wills and builds our skills.

It is only natural that we do what we can to avoid difficult times and extraordinary challenges. We try to anticipate and moderate the problems we face, or we may attempt to sidestep conflict altogether. However, adversity is not always something that can—or even should—be avoided.

We may face adversity when a core principle or significant value is at stake. Adversity can emerge in our efforts to defend an object of importance or in our attempts to create something meaningful and lasting. Adversity also often comes in the form of conditions we do not create or are unable to control.

As difficult as adverse conditions and challenges may be, they can also provide amazingly valuable opportunities to learn and grow. Difficulties can present circumstances that enable us to experience our best selves. In fact, adversity might be the impetus to move us from hesitancy to confidence and from moderately skilled to expert.

Interestingly, the natural world offers some excellent metaphors for how experiencing adversity can offer hidden benefits and important opportunities for us to become our best selves. With this in mind, consider the following:

• The water in a mountain stream is fresh and pure because it tumbles over rocks, cascades over falls, and bounces over rapids. The same water caught in a stagnant pool is dark and stale.

Lesson: Facing challenges can keep us fresh and prevent us from becoming stale in our thinking and stagnant in our approaches.

• The brightest diamonds are formed by the greatest, most sustained pressure. Absent the presence of pressure, diamonds remain clumps of carbon.

Lesson: Pressure can be the gift that allows us to shine.

• The brightest lights shine on the darkest nights. On a sunny day, we can easily miss the presence of a strong light, yet the same light can be seen for miles when other sources of light have dimmed or been extinguished.

Lesson: Our work during the most challenging times can offer the greatest hope and make the biggest difference.

• In the face of a storm, domestic cows try to outrun and avoid the rain and wind, whereas buffalo turn into the storm, understanding that facing what is inevitable often makes it pass more quickly.

Lesson: Facing adversity directly can often shorten its duration and diminish its impact.

• Stormy seas make skilled sailors. While sailors might prefer to sail on calm waters, their best skills are developed when the waves are high and the wind is strong. In the absence of adversity, key skills remain undeveloped and untested.

Lesson: Times of adversity are valuable because they create conditions for us to learn and grow.

It is true that adversity is usually not pleasant. Still, it can be important to our growth and the difference we make. Adversity may not be our choice, but it can be our opportunity.

Occasionally, we have all found ourselves in situations wherein we felt manipulated. It may have been a request, an expectation, an insinuation, or something else that left us feeling confused or uncomfortable. Regardless of the specifics, it was generally not a good feeling.

Some manipulation is the result of happenstance and is not intentional. At other times, we might bring the situation on ourselves by failing to be clear or feeling obligated to cooperate. Fortunately, most people do not attempt to manipulate others as their primary approach to relationships.

Yet, there are certainly people who rely on manipulation as a go-to behavior to get what they want. They may be a colleague, student, friend, or even a family member. They reveal themselves through their frequent reliance of any, some, or all the following behaviors:

• Guilting—Making us feel guilty for not cooperating with or volunteering to carry out their wishes or taking responsibility for their emotions.
• Playing the victim—Seeking sympathy and claiming that others are responsible for their problems and feelings.
• Blame-shifting—Claiming that everything bad is someone else’s fault, even when the fault clearly lies with them.
• Lying—Refusing to admit falsehoods even when the evidence is obvious.
• Gaslighting—Raising suspicions about what we know or have experienced, leading us to question our reality.
• Intimidating—Making subtle threats, threatening to exert power, or hinting at consequences if cooperation is not forthcoming.

Unfortunately, regular engagement with emotionally manipulative people can take a significant mental, emotional, and physical toll on us. We can experience depression and anxiety, feel helpless and lack of confidence, and suffer from guilt and shame. We may even engage in unhealthy coping behaviors and suffer from exhaustion.

The good news is that there are several useful strategies we can tap to protect our well-being and manage manipulators and their behavior. Here are seven approaches to help you gain control and remain sane.

Set and enforce emotional boundaries. Be ready for the manipulator to press and test your boundaries. Expect attempts to ridicule and guilt you for not prioritizing the manipulator’s interests and priorities. If pushed, refuse to engage; instead, respond by stating your commitment to prioritizing your well-being.

Refuse to take responsibility for the manipulator’s emotions. Don’t take what the manipulator says personally. Your guilt, shame, and vulnerability are what they crave to be successful. When you break that link, you diminish their power. Their feelings and behavior are their choice, not your responsibility.

Remain calm. When the manipulator attempts to pull you in, refuse to react. Detach emotionally from what the manipulator is saying or doing. When manipulators do not receive the reaction they expect, they often lose interest. If the manipulator persists, you may need to create physical space, including walking away or ending the relationship.

Avoid power struggles. Manipulative people excel at power competition and advantages. They have lots of strategies and are not reluctant to use them, no matter how they may impact you. Resist debating, forget trying to win, and detach from determining who is right or wrong. The manipulator is trying to escalate the situation to achieve an advantage. Don’t take the bait.

Be clear about your needs and expectations. State what you mean in direct terms. Resist sending open-ended messages, invitations, or requests. Vagueness and mixed signals are the manipulator’s playground. They will reinterpret what you said or meant and leave you feeling guilty, regretful, and bewildered. Meanwhile, expect vagueness and mixed signals from the manipulator, often followed by an interpretation that favors what the manipulator wants or expects.

Listen to your intuition. Manipulators can be difficult to spot. They are often friendly, even seemingly genuinely helpful, when it fits their purpose. They may compliment and smother with kindness when they want something. If you find yourself second-guessing your interpretation or feeling “icky” following a conversation or experience, manipulation may have been at play. If something feels manipulative, it probably is.

Tap sources of support. Manipulators often attempt to isolate those whom they are trying to manipulate. Their tactics work best when their intended victims are not testing their experiences against reality or others’ perceptions. Talk to friends, colleagues, or family members about what is happening and get their reactions. If they have experience with the manipulator, they may be able to validate your experience and offer advice. Consider seeking professional help if the situation is becoming serious and you are having difficulty finding a path forward.

Of course, the “through line” for each of these strategies is that we need to take care of ourselves. Self-care is a critical element in successfully countering an emotional manipulator. They depend on others’ emotional and physical exhaustion for their success. But we are not powerless, and we can prevail. Own your own!

Few people are likely to disagree with the observation that the frequency and acceptance of disrespectful behavior has grown. Behavior that used to generate outrage and embarrassment too often feels normalized. Actions and words that were once met with demands for immediate apology and behavior change seemingly barely raise an eyebrow. Even public figures appear to have fewer filters for their speech; cursing, insults, and insinuations are common fare among people whom we used to look to as models of decorum and properness.

Of course, this trend is not confined to adults. “Respect your elders” used to be a common mantra. At one time, “We don’t talk/behave that way” was a powerful admonishment and cause for shame. Unfortunately, for too many young people, models of respectful behavior are scarce or missing, and lessons about proper discourse are absent. Meanwhile, what they observe and experience in daily life presents few boundaries and little guidance for proper behavior.

We might wish that we could wave a magic wand and return to times when respect was a sign of good character and proper upbringing. We might long for days when disrespectful behavior was less frequent and the people who engaged in disrespect understood that their behavior did not reflect well on them. Correction was a matter of pointing out the behavior, not teaching why it was not acceptable.

Nevertheless, we can choose to wring our hands and complain, or we can work to at least improve the level of respect we experience in our work with colleagues, students, and others. Unfortunately, life does not issue magic wands and there is a limit to how much we can control the behavior of others. Any change we want to see must begin with us and what we can control.

The good news is that the behavior we choose in our interactions with others can have a powerful effect on their behavior. If we want to feel more respect from others, we can start by taking these seven actions:

• We can consistently show respect in our attitude, speech, and behavior. People who are respectful almost always experience higher levels of respect from others.
• We can assume respect from others. What we expect influences what we find. If we expect disrespect, we are more likely to interpret undefined behavior as disrespectful.
• When we experience what feels like disrespect, we can choose to remain calm and composed. If the disrespect is intended to stimulate a negative reaction, the purpose will have been thwarted. If we misinterpreted the words or behavior, we will have avoided awkwardness and embarrassment.
• We might refuse to take the other person’s words or behavior personally. In many situations, what feels like disrespect for us is an expression of frustration, the result of a misunderstanding, or a manifestation of confusion. Even if what we experience is intended as disrespect to us, we gain little by making it a personal issue.
• We can set boundaries and expectations with colleagues, students, and others with whom we interact regularly. Boundaries of acceptability are often enough to moderate behavior. Stating that what was said or done feels disrespectful can signal what is and is not acceptable to us.
• We need to reject the disrespectful behavior, not the person. The other person’s behavior is something that can be changed. Regardless of the behavior, the person still has worth. When we reject the person, we risk creating a divide that may make a future relationship difficult, if not impossible.
• We do well to avoid responding with criticism or blame. Focusing on resolution and solutions is not only likely to be more productive in the moment, but our behavior can also leave the door open to address what we see as disrespect later when emotions are under control and a level of trust is present.

In the context of a classroom, we obviously have more influence on what is acceptable through rule setting and behavior management. The seven actions still apply, but some additional steps may be useful:

• We may need to explicitly teach the difference between respect and disrespect and examine the subjectivity behind certain examples of each. In some cases, some students may not be fully aware of how their words and actions impact on others. There are some things that are more generally considered respectful or disrespectful, though, and those more objective examples are worth discussing.
• We can include respect for oneself and others in the expectations we establish for classroom behavior.
• We may need to intervene more directly in response to disrespectful words and actions, but our approach needs to be in private, when possible, and informed by the seven actions presented above.
• We might give students opportunities to build respect for themselves and from their peers. Offering students meaningful choices in their learning, providing leadership roles, and giving students a voice in classroom operation can be good places to start.
• We can increase our influence and reduce the frequency of disrespect by forming strong, consistent, positive relationships with students. Our interest in and caring for our students matter.

This list could go on, but the truth is that our consistent practice of respect for ourselves and others can have a powerful impact on the behavior of those around us.

We may not think much about the attitude or demeanor we bring to the classroom and share with our students every day. We might assume that the instructional strategies we employ and the materials we use are what matter most. Or we may think that our students’ dispositions and their readiness to learn are what will determine whether the day will be successful. We might even assume that how challenging the lesson objective is will determine its outcome. 

It goes without saying that instructional strategies and support materials are important, that student readiness to learn matters, and that what students are learning can make a difference. However, these factors can be quickly and heavily eclipsed by the attitudes we ourselves present with and to our students every day. The unseen but pervasive atmosphere in our classroom on most days is formed by the mood and tone we project. For students who struggle, the influence of how we present how we feel about the day—and them—can have an outsized impact.  

When we are grumpy, students pull back and may even become grumpy, too, in response. When we are angry or depressed, students might search for the reason and/or keep their distance. When we do not feel good about what we are doing, students pick up on it and may worry that it is in some way connected to them. 

On the other hand, when our attitude projects caring, support, confidence, and persistence, all the other factors that can impact success become contributing rather than determinative. Let’s examine six key attitudes that can have an outsized influence on the success of our students—and by extension, us.  

Patience supported by belief in potential. High expectations rest on an understanding that our students have the potential to improve, perform, and succeed. We may need to adjust the pace or moderate our approach, but when students feel that we believe in them and their ability to succeed, they are more likely to take learning risks and persist until they are successful.  

Readiness to adapt and be flexible. We cannot accurately predict what the day will bring. We may plan meticulously only to face an unexpected interruption, encounter an unanticipated barrier, or experience the malfunction of a key tool or piece of equipment. Our willingness to shift, modify, or even abandon what we planned without undue complaint can reassure students that we know what we are doing and will not be deterred in our commitment to support their learning.  

Empathy and emotional support. Students want to know that we care about them and value what matters to them. An attitude of listening and caring can have a lifelong impact for a student who is struggling or may be facing a significant life challenge. Taking the stance that our students are people first can make a big difference.   

Valuing effort and progress. Not every student will immediately grasp a new concept or quickly master a new skill. Learning can take many paths, and students often begin their learning journeys in different places. Of course, we need to be concerned about outcomes, but the greatest value in the learning we foster is found in teaching our students how to learn. Helping students to find the best strategies, coaching the best type of effort to give, and supporting the progress they are making can have a much greater impact than a pat on the back for earning a good grade.  

Passion for teaching and learning. Our students are perceptive, and they can feel when we want them to be inspired by what they are learning and curious about what more they might learn. Our excitement when they overcome a challenge or achieve a learning victory can send a powerful message about why we choose to teach and how we feel about them and their learning.  

Consistency and fairness. Students want to know that we will treat them and their classmates equitably regardless of who they are or what their learning history is. Being consistent when enforcing rules and fair when students misstep can build trust and create a sense of security. When students know what we expect and trust that they will be treated fairly, they are more likely to engage in challenging work and listen to our guidance and advice. 

When students feel a sense of optimism, patience, possibility, and empathy from us, we set the stage for success. We may make a mistake, students may struggle, and many things might go wrong, yet learning will still grow, students will still feel connected and cared for, and we can still have a successful day. 

These are times that demand flexibility and insight. Much of what we have assumed about our work and those who we seek to nurture and teach has changed and will continue to change. We need to be alert to what is shifting, what is enduring, and how we can position ourselves, our focus, and our skills to achieve success while sustaining our energy and sanity.

We know that adaptability is a key to survival in a changing and often unpredictable environment. Adaptability helps us to be versatile, stay resilient, and manage stress, and it prepares us to embrace change rather than fear or fight it.

However, adaptability has its primary focus on change that is already occurring. It is already here, and it demands an immediate response. While important to how we will choose to respond, adaptability does not anticipate, prepare for, and attempt to shape the future.

Because life is unpredictable, we cannot always wait to face the need for change before we decide how best to respond. We need to be able to move from a position of reacting to a more proactive approach. Experts describe this shift as moving from adaptation to agility.

Agility shifts our thinking and behavior from responding to change to anticipation and proactivity. Agility involves imagining the future and preparing to embrace, adjust, and shape what lies ahead. In an age of emerging artificial intelligence, shifting expectations of educators and education, and evolving opportunities to innovate, agility represents the next-level skill that can position us to shape our future and open new doors to success.

In future-focused leadership circles, agility is often referred to as “prospection.” Prospection is the practice of looking ahead, imagining possible scenarios, designing strategies, and taking purposeful, insightful actions. Let’s consider how agility and the practice of prospection might be useful to our thinking and practice in small and large applications.

First, we can practice agility by considering the chemistry and personality makeup of our classes and anticipating where there may be common interests, conflicting characteristics, and cautions to be observed. We can plan activities, design learning experiences, and shape interactions to maximize positive collective energy and build a strong community. Of course, our agility is the secret to smooth, successful, sustained classroom management.

Second, we might practice prospection by exploring emerging technologies, examining innovative instructional strategies, and identifying accelerated learning approaches. These elements can be woven into new learning experiences and supports for students, especially learners who struggle with traditional teaching practices and learning tools. Our agility can prepare learning paths that help all students find success.

Third, we can explore future-focused knowledge and enduring skills our students will need to be successful in learning and life. Armed with these insights, we might design our instructional strategies and shift our assessment focus to include crucial competencies students will need to rely on long after they leave us. Of course, we need to share timely information and credible implications with students and families to help them to understand the importance and utility of such a shift. Our agility can shape learning experiences that serve students for life.

Fourth, we need to consider our learners’ needs to provide the agile leadership and the technological and instructional skills necessary to understand, articulate, and advocate for necessary change. Embracing the future and practicing agility will demand new policy prospectives and flexible practice allowances. Our insight, agility, and advocacy will be crucial to realizing significant system changes.

Without question, we need to be ready and quick to adapt as needs evolve, expectations change, and required skills shift. However, we also must remain focused on the future and agile in anticipating what will be needed, remaining open to innovative ideas and perspectives, and ready to design strategies to shape what lies ahead.

Life seems to come at us at full speed; as Ferris Bueller notably observed, “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.” In our day-to-day schedule, though, finding time to reflect, appreciate, and enjoy life can sometimes feel beyond our reach, yet the truth is that each of us has the same number of minutes and hours in each day. The key to finding a pace that works for us and provides time for what makes us happy, gives us comfort, and feeds our soul resides in decisions we make every day.

We can allow life to come at us at its own pace, or we can decide to exercise more control. We can react to things life throws at us without much thought, or we can respond with insight and purpose. The choice is ours.

Of course, gaining more control over our lives, finding ways to moderate the pace, and reserving time for what matters to us is not necessarily easy. It requires thoughtfulness, focus, and some discipline. However, the process can be amazingly fulfilling and meaningful. Here are eight strategies we can use to slow life down and allow us to savor more of it.

Establish reassuring routines and reinforcing rituals. We might start each day by taking a brief walk while taking note of our surroundings and appreciating nature. We may spend a few minutes stretching and loosening our muscles. We might spend some time journaling our thoughts while having a cup of tea or coffee. The key is to begin the day with a comfortable pace and thoughtful presence. Similarly, at the end of the day, we can establish quieting and relaxing routines and rituals; listening to calming music, reading a good book, or taking a relaxing bath or shower can bring the day to a peaceful close.

Engage in mini breaks and mindful minutes. We can interrupt the pace of hectic days by consciously stepping back for even a few minutes to close our eyes, calm our minds, and give our brains a rest. These mini breaks can also be times when we practice mindfulness activities such as breathing deeply, choosing calming thoughts, and centering our attention on the moment. Even a minute or two spent during transitions can help us to slow down and connect to our feelings and surroundings. As a result, our stress can ebb, and our productivity can surge.

Slow your speed and take your time. As simple as it may seem, consciously slowing our walking pace, moderating the tempo of our speech, and even driving at a more leisurely pace can help us to feel calm and more deliberate in our thoughts and actions. Similarly, we can resist multitasking and, instead, focus on what we are currently doing while savoring the moment. Meanwhile, we will make fewer mistakes and get more accomplished.

Take time away from the tension of technology. We might designate times when we will unplug from notifications, alarms, and screens. For example, we might choose to unplug during meals, while driving to and from work, an hour before bed, and, if possible, a day on the weekend. We can avoid nonessential alarms and notifications that add to our distraction. Of course, staying away from technology during the night can lead to more restful sleep. Time spent away from the screens in our lives also creates more opportunities to focus on ourselves, connect with our surroundings, and pay more attention to our loved ones.

Notice small things and appreciate simple pleasures. In a hurried life we can overlook, ignore, and discount the presence and value of small but enjoyable aspects of life. Paying attention to the sunrise and sunset, focusing on music as we listen to it, stopping to smell a flower, or enjoying the taste of a delicious meal can help us to gain greater enjoyment of everyday life. Making time to visit with a friend, spending quality time with family members, or engaging in conversation with a neighbor can help us to refocus and reflect on the importance of the people in our lives.

Prioritize progress over perfection. When we expect perfection, we are more likely to be disappointed than gratified. Focusing on progress gives us permission to make mistakes—and learn from them. Expecting perfection, on the other hand, means mistakes must be avoided. We can celebrate small wins and modest successes as we build new skills, develop our talents, and expand our expertise. Regardless of whether progress comes at a modest and consistent pace or occurs in surprising leaps, we can savor the journey and use the experience to remain positive and motivated to live and learn.

Consider the possibility of procrastination. Procrastination has a bad reputation, but just because something is on our to-do list does not always mean that it must be done right now, or even today. Sometimes allowing time to pass can lead to a better understanding of something or a better approach to completing a task. In some cases, conditions migrate, and the task we thought we needed to complete changes or may no longer require our attention. Of course, we need to avoid falling into the trap or habit of putting off what really needs to be done. However, considering elements of urgency, timeliness, and consequences can help us to better manage the pace and sequence of what needs our attention.

Regularly reflect, reassess, and realign. Life happens whether we go with the flow or decide how to live it. Spending time thinking about what is important to us, contemplating the difference we want to make, and setting goals can help us to clarify and honor our priorities. However, we need to regularly reflect on how and whether we are really spending our time on what is most important. Intentions matter and plans are necessary, but what we do and how we spend our time determines whether what we value is also what we live.

There is no question that resisting the constant rush of life is a challenge and finding time for meaning, enjoyment, and appreciation can be difficult. These and other strategies can help us to create space for meaning, find a place for enjoyment, and embrace life as it unfolds. Do you have some favorite strategies to add?

For many of us, this time of the year can bring with it a great deal of complicated thoughts and feelings. Not only do we face many expectations from others, but we also hold numerous expectations for ourselves. Meanwhile, this is a time when we often experience difficulties, disappointments, and setbacks and feel emotions most acutely.

It is only natural that we want this to be a time when we feel centered, connected, and confident in who we are and what we do. We want to feel good about ourselves and to have others feel good about us. The challenge is to overcome what life brings us and not be pulled down by events over which we have little or no control.

The good news is that there are several experience- and research-proven life strategies that we can employ now—and throughout the year—that can lift our spirits and our confidence, make us more resilient, and leave us feeling more connected to those around us. Here are five of those strategies to try.

Forgiveness:

We might think that forgiveness is primarily about removing the blame and resentment we feel toward someone who wronged us. Yet, while freeing the other person from the grudge we hold toward them is certainly a part of the process of forgiveness, equally important is freeing ourselves from the emotional burden and preoccupation that resentment carries for us. Of course, forgiving is also important when we need to forgive ourselves. Forgiveness allows us to become free to engage, grow, and live free of guilt and shame.

Gratitude:

Consistently taking time to consider and reflect on what is good in our lives can shift our outlook, even during times of stress and strain. Gratitude can help us to become more resilient and better able to manage relationships in our lives. When practiced regularly, gratitude can function much like a muscle that allows us to recognize what is difficult and may cause us to struggle without becoming stuck or preoccupied. Meanwhile, our positive and appreciative outlook can spread to others and inspire them to be more optimistic and less preoccupied with disappointments and stresses. Gratitude, positivity, and optimism can give us confidence, help us to remain centered, and feel connected to others in our lives.

Authenticity:

Being authentic is more than choosing to be oneself, and it is not a matter of simply removing one’s interpersonal “filter” to do and say whatever comes to mind. In fact, authenticity has more to do with being clear about what we value, what we want to accomplish, and who we want to be. Becoming more authentic starts with acting with purpose, focusing on what matters, and finding alignment between what we spend our time and energy on and what is most important to us. Authenticity is engaging in the journey from where we are to who we wish to be. Authenticity gives us courage to act, helps us to become centered in who we are, and frees us to connect with who and what is important in our lives.

Altruism:

We might not think much about altruism—doing things for others, making donations, volunteering, and similar selfless activities—as being just as important and rewarding for the giver as the receiver. Yet, going out of our way to help others also improves how we feel about ourselves. The truth is that doing good feels good. When we help others, our mood improves, and our well-being grows. Research studies have found that altruism can reduce feelings of depression and even provide respites from pain in people suffering from cancer. Doing good can help us to feel better about ourselves and more connected to others.

Hope:

We might think of hope as a naïve view of life and susceptible to being dashed by the words and actions of others. But hope is more than a verbal form of optimism or an idealistic view of life. Hope is the realization that success is possible with patience, effort, strategy, and persistence. Hope is a key motivator that pushes and pulls us toward our goals and is not dependent on the immediate expectation of success or the departure of problems. It gives us confidence that staying the course will lead to what we seek, and it can help us to be resilient in the face of setbacks because we see today’s experiences as part of a longer, more important life journey. Hope can give us confidence, keep us focused, and connect us with others who share our goals and values.

Obviously, we cannot always control the day-to-day experiences that may disappoint or depress us. However, we do control what we do to preserve our outlook and overcome what may briefly set us back. Tapping the power of forgiveness, gratitude, authenticity, altruism, and hope can make an amazing difference.

We often think of inspiration in connection with an experience that we find mentally or emotionally stimulating. Feeling inspired heightens experiences. After all, inspiration can motivate us to start something new, follow through on something already started, or return to something we may have abandoned and forgotten. Inspiration can increase the clarity with which we see the world around us. It can stimulate higher levels of energy, which can in turn help us to be more creative.

We might find ourselves inspired by exposure to the arts, the courage or behavior of someone, or the wonders of nature. In response, we can be moved to tears or motivated to act. Our feelings of inspiration might lead to a new idea, an insight to address or solve a problem, or a commitment to rearrange our priorities, or it might encourage us to change the direction of our lives.

The inspiration we feel can lead to outcomes as modest as rearranging our classroom furniture and planning a lesson, or it may lead to outcomes as profound as exploring a new dimension of music or art, starting a new phase of our career, or rethinking our relationships and approach to engaging students. The question is: Where can we find inspiration, and what we might choose to do with it? Here are six steps to help us find it and decide what to do as a result.

We can start by changing routines and opening ourselves up to new experiences. Trying new things can revitalize our habits and shift our attitudes. New experiences can stimulate new ideas, open us up to new possibilities, and suggest options we have not been aware of or considered in the past. Interestingly, just making the commitment to do something different can be the first step in becoming inspired.

We can become more aware of shifts in our energy. We might notice what seems interesting, feels exciting, and may even leave us feeling a little “tingly.” Changes in energy levels can be an indicator that something we are observing or experiencing has the potential to be inspiring; the source may be another person, an innovative idea, music, art, or a demonstration of expertise and passion. Regardless, if we pay attention to our response, we may find the inspiration we seek.

We can pay more attention to our fantasies, daydreams, and musings. By reflecting on where our mind goes when it is not required to pay attention or focus, we can uncover some important insights about what might inspire us. Consider the quote from author Vi Keeland: “If you want to know where your heart is, look at where you mind goes when it wanders.”Journaling can be a great way to keep track of where our mind goes when our attention is not directed at a task or other responsibility.

We can revisit what used to inspire us. Most of us have had dreams and activities that occupied our minds and stimulated our emotions, but for some reason we migrated away from them. Their abandonment may have been in favor of what may have been expected of us, what we expected of ourselves, or just because we moved on. Now might be a good time to revisit and reacquaint ourselves with these past inspirations. We may find that there is something there worth exploring and reengaging with.

We can explore ideas, innovations, and solutions present in other fields and professions. When our experience is exclusively in one area, we can be unaware of how problems have been solved, answers discovered, and practices perfected in other contexts. Sometimes the inspiration we seek can be found in approaches and applications others have developed that, with revisions and adjustments, can be the source of inspiration to solve problems or challenges we face.

We can spend more time observing and experiencing nature. While this strategy may seem obvious, its simplicity does not nullify its significance. We can experience something magical when we pay attention to—and gather inspiration from—the wonders of nature: the relationships among plants, animals, weather, and earth. The systems that make up nature can be great sources of insight, adaptation, beauty, and inspiration. We may just need to pay closer attention and remain open to what emerges as we allow our imagination and observation skills to work.

Inspiration is a wonder feeling. It can give us new hope and renew our confidence. It can lead us in new and exciting directions in our life and work. However, inspiration does not always come naturally. We need to open ourselves to possibilities and be ready to grasp and follow its lead when it arrives.

What we intend with our words and actions may be laudable and admirable, but what students and others experience does not always align with what we mean and expect. When there is a disconnect, we can feel surprised, disappointed, and frustrated in response. However, as tempting as it might be, we cannot simply blame students or others for not interpreting what we say and do in a manner consistent with our intentions.

Even though our intentions might be pure, when the impact elicits a negative response or is misinterpreted, we must first examine our role in the situation. The only actions we control are our own. Understanding where and how a disconnect occurred starts by accepting responsibility, working to rectify the current situation, and understanding how to prevent its reoccurrence in the future.

How does intention become disconnected from impact? The culprit might be any of several factors. Here are four common causes:

• Our communication style or strategy. Our message may not have actually been clear to its recipient. Our tone may have been harsher or more critical than we intended. It might even be that what we said and how we said it was fine, but our body language betrayed us or communicated something else unintentionally.
• Assumptions we made about readiness to hear and learn. Students may not have fully mastered the skills on which new content and actions depend. They may have learned—but since forgotten—crucial information and processes necessary for success in the planned activity. Others may have been distracted or not had the background understanding we assumed.
• The strategy we chose to motivate. A setup that previously was motivating may no longer hold the same meaning and pull. Our word choice may have undermined the motivational message we intended. Or our timing might have been off and, as such, people may have misread what we were attempting to accomplish.
• Our intent and the context may not have been a match. What happened the day prior, or even earlier in the day, might have poisoned the context. Consequently, despite our intent, students or others were unable to separate their emotions and let go of their negative perceptions of us and the situation.

The obvious questions are, how we can reduce the potential for a disconnect to occur between our intentions and the impact of our actions, and what can we learn when disconnects do occur? Here are five strategies worth considering:

• Assume positive intentions. Assuming positive intentions reduces the temptation to blame others for the impact. Once we decide to blame others, we risk not fully understanding what happened, how we might fix the disconnect, and what we might learn to avoid repetition in the future.
• Reflect. The precipitating action was ours, in one way or another, so reflecting is a good place to start. When we understand what we missed, misinterpreted, or assumed incorrectly, we can begin to uncover where and how the disconnect occurred.
• Ask for feedback. In real time, checking for understanding and soliciting feedback can help us to avoid plunging ahead when others are not with us. In retrospect, feedback can offer hints and insights about how our words or actions had an impact, and we can begin to close the information loop.
• Look for communication gaps and gaffs. What we said and how we said it—and what we did and how we did it—matters. As much as we may think that we were clear, the proof is in the reception of information, not in the sending of it.
• Be aware of nonverbal clues and cues. Confused looks, frowns, furrowed brows, crossed arms, physically turning away, and whispered comments are just a few of the clues we might observe when our intent is not having the impact we expect. These behaviors are cues that it is time for us to stop and sort what is happening before any additional confusion, consternation, or disconnection occurs.
• Take responsibility and be accountable. When our first step in repairing a disconnect is taking responsibility, we open communication and reduce the need for others to explain, defend, or blame. We may need to explain and clarify our intentions, but we also need to be ready to apologize if we could or should have seen the disconnect coming.

Every day, we strive to lift our students, nurture in them a love for learning, and lead them to see a future filled with possibility. Sometimes we get it right and we see an amazing impact. At other times, we may need to stop, step back, and set a new course. These are times for reflection, learning, and recommitment, not occasions for regret or retreat. Every day, we have a new opportunity to turn positive intentions into amazing impacts.