In most communities, schools represent the highest concentration of people within a public space. Hundreds, even thousands, of people may occupy a single building. We might expect that such close physical proximity will naturally generate connections and a sense of belonging, yet we know that physical closeness does not necessarily lead to emotional and psychological connections. In fact, many people experience significant and persistent loneliness, despite spending their days in the presence of others.
We might also assume that communication is the secret to overcoming feelings of isolation, disconnection, and loneliness, but while communication is certainly important, it is not a direct substitute for connection. Consider the words of the late therapist, author, and motivational speaker Sean Stephenson: “Communication is merely an exchange of information, but connection is an exchange of our humanity.” Connection-making occurs at a deeper, more profound level. Connections must be built and nurtured.
Importantly, the presence of a culture of connection—seeing, accepting, respecting, and valuing each other—offers benefits that extend beyond feeling like we are a part of a community where we are recognized, supported, and belong. Consider a recent BetterUp study that found that when people feel connected in their workplace:
- Performance increases by as much as 50%
- Turnover drops by as much as 50%
- Employee sick days drop by as much as 75%
From a qualitative perspective, connections lead to lower levels of stress, better decisions, increased energy and enthusiasm, and enhanced creativity. Whether we are connecting with colleagues or are administrators who seek to create a more inviting, productive, and engaging work environment, nurturing a culture of connecting makes sense.
So how can we nurture and sustain a culture of connection? Here are six behaviors to practice:
- Attentiveness: Noticing each other is a great place to start. Observing the moods and behavior shifts of colleagues and employees can give us clues to when others need encouragement, counsel, or a listening ear. Remembering names of partners, children, and pets matters. Paying attention to and asking about interests, challenges, and life stories can be powerful ways to connect.
- Curiosity: Showing interest and a willingness to engage signals to people that they matter and have our respect. Our questions can open doors to understanding and reveal areas of common interest and experience.
- Empathy: Accepting and respecting the feelings of others is a strong connector. Our empathy conveys appreciation for the challenges and struggles others are experiencing. The connection becomes even stronger when we respond with compassion and authentic offers to help.
- Vulnerability: Whether we are a colleague or a supervisor, our willingness to admit that we may not have all the answers, are willing to accept suggestions, and are open to other ideas and perspectives matter. When we are willing to modify our thinking and adjust our behavior in response to the ideas and perspectives of others, our connections grow even stronger.
- Dependability: While it may be less noticeable than some other behaviors, being there when people need us, being ready to step up in the face of a challenge, or just being present to offer what we can are powerful connectors. We don’t have to be an extrovert, a charismatic character, or a high-profile performer to be there when others need us. Everyone needs someone on whom they can depend.
- Gratitude: Gratefulness reminds us to appreciate those who enrich our lives and sustain our spirit. It is said that gratitude plays a “find, remind, and bind” role in relationships. Gratefulness leads us to find connections. It reminds us why connections with others are important in our lives. And gratefulness protects our connections even when our relationships are stressed and we may be tempted to let go.
We all want to feel connected, recognized, respected, influential, and supported. When we do, work is less stressful, and we feel more productive and satisfied. The best news is that creating a culture of connections is not expensive or unduly time-consuming. We just need to notice each other, be curious enough to engage, show empathy and compassion, be willing to be vulnerable, demonstrate our dependability, and, of course, be grateful.
Source: BetterUp. (2019, September 16). BetterUp’s new, industry-leading research shows companies that fail at belonging lose tens of millions in revenue.
