For many of us, this time of the year can bring with it a great deal of complicated thoughts and feelings. Not only do we face many expectations from others, but we also hold numerous expectations for ourselves. Meanwhile, this is a time when we often experience difficulties, disappointments, and setbacks and feel emotions most acutely.
It is only natural that we want this to be a time when we feel centered, connected, and confident in who we are and what we do. We want to feel good about ourselves and to have others feel good about us. The challenge is to overcome what life brings us and not be pulled down by events over which we have little or no control.
The good news is that there are several experience- and research-proven life strategies that we can employ now—and throughout the year—that can lift our spirits and our confidence, make us more resilient, and leave us feeling more connected to those around us. Here are five of those strategies to try.
Forgiveness:
We might think that forgiveness is primarily about removing the blame and resentment we feel toward someone who wronged us. Yet, while freeing the other person from the grudge we hold toward them is certainly a part of the process of forgiveness, equally important is freeing ourselves from the emotional burden and preoccupation that resentment carries for us. Of course, forgiving is also important when we need to forgive ourselves. Forgiveness allows us to become free to engage, grow, and live free of guilt and shame.
Gratitude:
Consistently taking time to consider and reflect on what is good in our lives can shift our outlook, even during times of stress and strain. Gratitude can help us to become more resilient and better able to manage relationships in our lives. When practiced regularly, gratitude can function much like a muscle that allows us to recognize what is difficult and may cause us to struggle without becoming stuck or preoccupied. Meanwhile, our positive and appreciative outlook can spread to others and inspire them to be more optimistic and less preoccupied with disappointments and stresses. Gratitude, positivity, and optimism can give us confidence, help us to remain centered, and feel connected to others in our lives.
Authenticity:
Being authentic is more than choosing to be oneself, and it is not a matter of simply removing one’s interpersonal “filter” to do and say whatever comes to mind. In fact, authenticity has more to do with being clear about what we value, what we want to accomplish, and who we want to be. Becoming more authentic starts with acting with purpose, focusing on what matters, and finding alignment between what we spend our time and energy on and what is most important to us. Authenticity is engaging in the journey from where we are to who we wish to be. Authenticity gives us courage to act, helps us to become centered in who we are, and frees us to connect with who and what is important in our lives.
Altruism:
We might not think much about altruism—doing things for others, making donations, volunteering, and similar selfless activities—as being just as important and rewarding for the giver as the receiver. Yet, going out of our way to help others also improves how we feel about ourselves. The truth is that doing good feels good. When we help others, our mood improves, and our well-being grows. Research studies have found that altruism can reduce feelings of depression and even provide respites from pain in people suffering from cancer. Doing good can help us to feel better about ourselves and more connected to others.
Hope:
We might think of hope as a naïve view of life and susceptible to being dashed by the words and actions of others. But hope is more than a verbal form of optimism or an idealistic view of life. Hope is the realization that success is possible with patience, effort, strategy, and persistence. Hope is a key motivator that pushes and pulls us toward our goals and is not dependent on the immediate expectation of success or the departure of problems. It gives us confidence that staying the course will lead to what we seek, and it can help us to be resilient in the face of setbacks because we see today’s experiences as part of a longer, more important life journey. Hope can give us confidence, keep us focused, and connect us with others who share our goals and values.
Obviously, we cannot always control the day-to-day experiences that may disappoint or depress us. However, we do control what we do to preserve our outlook and overcome what may briefly set us back. Tapping the power of forgiveness, gratitude, authenticity, altruism, and hope can make an amazing difference.
