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Cyberbullying: The Jealous

{taken from the book You Can Handle Them All: Bullying & Cyberbullying Special Edition}

I. BEHAVIOR: Specific attitudes and actions of this student at home and/or at school.

  1. Exhibits destructive emotion toward particular people who have things this student wants: An award, an opportunity, praise, friendships, possessions, etc.
  2. May pick one person as a target—and stay on that target continuously.
  3. His or her choice of target is often misdirected.
  4. May try to prevent a friend from having other friendships. Even though the jealous student has other relationships, he or she will resent any the friend has. If the friend succumbs to the jealous student’s demands, the jealous student has made the friend a possession. {Tweet this}
  5. Is indiscriminate. The trivial can provoke as much wrath as the significant.
  6. Will seldom say what he or she will do to solve the problem, but may freely tell what the other can and cannot do—and make it clear that simply making an effort to comply is not good enough.

II. EFFECTS: How behavior affects teachers, peers, support staff, and the school learning environment.

  1. The target of the jealousy, and the target’s friends, are hurt.
  2. Achievement is often affected because the jealous person tries to block the target’s attempts to achieve.
  3. An increasing feeling of rejection develops among the target and his or her associates.

III. ACTION:

    • Identify causes of misbehavior.
    • Pinpoint student needs being revealed.
    • Employ specific methods, procedures, and techniques at school for getting the student to modify or change his or her behavior.
  1. Primary causes of misbehavior:
    • Power: Jealousy is the result of a desire to possess and control.
    • Revenge: This student seeks to punish people who have things he or she wants or people he or she cannot control or possess.
  2. Primary needs being revealed:
    • Sexuality/Relationships: This student is seeking relationships and status within these relationships.
    • Escape from Pain: This student experiences intense and painful emotions as a result of jealousy. He or she attempts to escape these feelings by trying to either punish or control others.
  3. Secondary needs being revealed:
    • Affiliation: The guidance of a caring adult can help this student deal with his or her jealousy.
    • Status: The jealous student desperately wants to be somebody. Helping this student give up the jealousy and achieve on his or her own is the first step.
    • Achievement: Once this student can achieve on his or her own, jealousy of other achievers will diminish.
    • Power: Jealousy renders this student totally powerless. Giving up the jealousy will help restore power over himself or herself.
  4. We can begin by understanding that some jealousy is rational. A student may have cause to be jealous—sometimes because someone else is actually trying to make him or her feel that way.

Free book excerpt with 13 more ACTIONS and 4 COMMON MISTAKES!

Handled this behavior in the past? Share your experience in the comment section below…

Thought for the Week

We cannot always control what happens to us or limits our ability to determine what happens around us, but we can always control how we respond.

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